The Self

Traits that I want to foster in myself, in a sense, the person I want to be

Generous
Honest
Have a strong sense of self
Constructive and creative
Loving and open
Emotionally available
Cooperative in conversation
Accept imperfection
Assertive
Authentic, honest
Genuine
Secure, satisfied with self
Balance between sensitive and rational

Growing up isn't easy. We are constantly becoming. I'm trying every day. Some days I fail, and some days I succeed. But I have to keep trying.

Knit. Purl. Revolt.

This Society is Having an Existential Crisis

I want to share a passage that I encountered in the book I am reading "Gaining: The Truth About Life After Eating Disorders by Aimee Liu.
I really relate to this passage, and I'm sure many others do as well. It functions as a constant reminder, to be, rather than to have.

As psychoanalyst Erich Fromm wrote in "To Have or To Be?: "We internalize the authoritarian structure of our society," and most of us, depending on our class and social position, learn early that we are expected to get a particular kind of education, get married at a particular time of life, get a particular kind of job, and ultimately get as rich and as famous as our circumstances will allow. If we are female, we are also trained to hunger for a better face and body. But all this getting rarely gains us a sense of our own identity. "Most people," according to Fromm, "believe theyy are following their own will and are unaware that their will itself is conditioned and manipulated." In other words, they operate under an illusion of decisiveness without actually being self-directed. For those who do sense and recoil from this manipulation, the need to feel real may demand physical as well as emotional relocation, to a different kind of community or culture.

The true existential choice, Fromm wrote, is not between wanting this or that-miniskirts or boyfriends, money or love-but between wanting to claim possession of things, roles, and even relationships (Let me have) and wanting to freely exist, express oneself, give and experience (Let me be).

Knit. Purl. Revolt.

Bring It On

As I sit here, procrastinating the large pile of impending finals work that lays before me, my mind wanders to all things post-finals. To summer, the magical time when we college students set aside required reading and writing to focus on that which moves us intellectually and emotionally. Or at least, that's what I do!
I always like to set goals of sorts for the summer, to safe-guard against becoming lethargic and lackadaisical. So here they are, writting in the two-dimensional cyber system, my projects for the summer.

1. Study for the GRE - Not thrilling, at all, but I am taking this exam in July, so I should at least attempt to prepare for it.
2. Knit a simple sweater.
3. Translate three Elliott Smith CD's into French - I figured out this is an excellent way to work on a language.
4. Learn by heart five songs on my violin.
5. Read 5 challenging books - the books are to be decided, I'll keep you updated.

So there you have it, summer projects to engage the intellect, the creative, the studious, the linguistic, and the musical.
What can I say, I'm a Renaissance woman.

Knit. Purl. Revolt.

Soft Spoken

I'm really loving this knitted chain scarf.
Even more so, I love this photograph.
The photo is as soft as I imagine the scarf feels.
So I'm giving a shout out and some free advertising space to Soft Spoken: Handmade and Vintage Designs, a knitting shop on Etsy.

It's been a rough week. I'm not up for politics this week.
I'm down for art, escape, the woods, the water...nature is soothing to me when I feel shittiest.
Trying to effect positive change in the world can feel overwhelming when your own small, personal world has been flipped upside down.
I need sunlight and fresh air and water, or I will wilt like a flower in the frost.

Knit. Purl. Revolt.

Stomache Ache

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.
Oscar Wilde

I need to read more fiction. Non-fiction is becoming overwhelming.
I love to knit and I love to talk politics.
But sometimes I just like to sit and read and think of a world that is smaller and more intimate.
Where it is easy to lose yourself without being lost to others.
A story always has a clear beginning and end, but in life we are always beginning and ending simultaneously.

Knit. Purl. Revolt.